In 2006 I was tipping the scale at 270 pounds. I didn’t even realize how heavy I was and actually didn’t even think that 270 was that bad. At 270 I was walking around like I was the hottest thing since sliced bread. But I am so thankful for whatever it was that got into me to that lit a spark to want to make a change. The reason I started going to the gym in January of 2007 was because I finally had a real job that paid a decent salary and knew that I could afford a membership. I thought that working out would help me wit my lower back pain and my stress levels and if it could help me lose a few pounds then I was more than excited to be there. I joined a women’s gym and by that June I had lost 30 pounds and kept it off until...well...
In early 2008 I lost my job, lived alone and got superrrrr depressed. I gained back 10 pounds, stopped working out, didn’t leave my house for days a time and spent my last paycheck away on multiple drunken evenings out. I was not a happy camper. But thankfully the ball started rolling again and in October of 2008 I got right back into the gym and have lost 25 pounds since. Its great that I have lost a total of 45 pounds BUT now my goals have shifted and Im getting a little frustrated. These next 20 pounds are the most important 20 pounds I have ever had to lose because its not only for my modeling but its to reach my overall weight goal. I’m just 20 pounds away from reaching a weight that I have desired for years. But, folks, I have hit a major plateau. I havent lost a pound in weekssssss and I have been working out and changing my food intake.
I wish I could live just one day without thinking about my body or my food. I have to because I need to be conscious of everything I eat, everything I do, how active I am, etc...When you lose focus, you lose yourself. I have literally cried on the treadmill a number of times just cursing out the fat gods. But, I got myself into this mess and I will get myself out of it. I want to be a success story. I want to be my "after" so badly. Yes, its taken 2 years but when I get down on myself I think about how I have been able to keep off the 45 pounds. This ish is NOT easy but I will win this...I will...Hey slow metabolism!!! I'm coming for your ass!!!!
Tiff in June 2006
Tiff in June 2009
No comments:
Post a Comment