Dear men on the corners, the subway platforms, the bodegas and the sidewalks:
You are not cute. Your friends are not cute either. I don’t know what happened to you down the line with your mother and sisters to have such awful insecurities about yourself but your cat calling must simply come to an end and it needs to stop TODAY.
I understand there are sometimes good intentions when you yell out: "I like your big tummy" or "love that fat ass." I get it. You like big butts and we all do. But damn! Don’t lick your lips and stare at my ass the whole 3 blocks that I’m walking. It’s not cute! Think about those dudes who stare and cat call at your mom, your sister and your daughter. How does that make u feel? Probably not so great. Now try taking that feeling with you, get inspired and change your ways.
I often wonder if a cat caller EVER catches a woman’s interest and gets their phone number. It’s not like these dudes don’t know that they are objectifying us. They know it full well and they purposely like doing it to irritate us and get a reaction out of us. It’s like some sick carnival game, the more women they can get to curse them out the higher points they get with their friends. It’s disgusting and nothing makes my blood boil more than a man who whistles at a chick. You know what; even whistling isn’t the WORST thing. It’s the “aye mami” and the “damn your ass is fat” or the “mmm come here and give me some” that makes me turn into the hulk.
I decided that I would not just let these men get away with this bullshit any longer. Anytime I hear a man say something STUPID or groan or whistle I will go up to them and ask them how they would feel if I was their sister or mother. Why are these dudes so quick to defend their women and fight a dude who even LOOKS at them but when they go out and snarl at chicks it ok. Pathetic! I want you cat callers to know that you will never, ever win with your bullshit. You can go ahead and groan yourself blue but you will never ever get anywhere with your antics. Its degrading, disgusting, objectifying and very, very, very unattractive. Stop staring at the little 14 year-olds you pervs and give us a freakin’ break! I love my curves and don’t blame you for going nuts when you see them. But keep it in your pants and keep the comments to yourself. I’m telling you now that there is NOTHING you can say that will be ok with me. NOTHING.
Ladies: if you hear a dude saying something you don’t like walk up to his face and explain to him why it’s NOT OK to do what he does. He will laugh it off and snarl but maybe, just maybe, he will think twice about cat-calling when he sees you the next time. It’s a far-fetched idea but I am hopeful. If you don’t speak up, nothing will ever change….ever. If you men want to waste 3 seconds of my time then make it worth something and say something interesting. Otherwise SHUT THE F*&$ UP!
